Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
