the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
soo... how was my night?
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