Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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