He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
