people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
