Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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