If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
