I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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