my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I need a burrito and a hug.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
