have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
