Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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