he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
