The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
