But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
