THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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