Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
