So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
