come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
