Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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