Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
