you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize