i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
