At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
