Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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