thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
