We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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