i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
