just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
