Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
