Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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