wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
me + whiskey = a bad person
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
