I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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