We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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