Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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