I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
