Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
