Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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