i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
