What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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