I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
