So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
