im drinking this country out of the recession.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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