Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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