Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
