wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
did i walk over a car last night?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
