I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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