I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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