"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
