She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
