Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
