Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
