Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
